“But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established.” Matthew 18:16 CSB
Sometimes, going to the person to resolve conflict isn’t enough. Too much water has been spilt under the bridge, too many hurt feelings are lying just beneath the surface. No matter what the individual says, they are wrong in our eyes. All we see is “red,” everything they do is suspect. But this is a trap we have to be careful not to fall into with people. We have to remind ourselves, we are all sinners in need of grace. No one is perfect, especially not us. If you shine a spotlight in my life, you will easily find a long list of imperfections. But if you look for the good, you’ll see there is that too. Sometimes, in order for us to see the other person in their true light we need help from others.
When Ron and I were on our 3 week adventure, we only had one big fight. The fight is a recurring one we have had in our marriage. We were in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Our neighbors were Chris and Danny. They were from Florida, full-time RVers who have celebrated 35 years of marriage together. God placed them in our life to help us work through our conflict. Ron and I were in the midst of arguing when they stopped by our campsite for a chat. I knew God had sent them to us. Ron and I shared our disagreement with them. They gave us valuable advice that has encouraged us ever since. They helped us dissect the problem, and view it from different angles than what we could see. As a result, we found the resolution we needed. We were able to put the conflict behind us, once and for all. We haven’t argued about it since. I know my role, Ron knows his role and we have both found peace.
Sometimes we need other people to help us see the truth in our conflicts. We have to choose wisely who those people are, not everyone is going to give you good advice. Choose people who you respect, who will have your best interest at heart, who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. We trusted Chris and Danny because they had a great relationship. Their advice was invaluable to us, they helped us lay to rest a conflict that had plagued us for years. When old feelings start to rise in me, I remember Chris’s words to me and I let it go. We need mediators in our lives who can help us find the restoration we need in our conflicts. If we can’t find peace on our own, find someone who can help. A trusted friend, a counselor or pastor, someone who can help restore the relationship as God intends.
Today I am going to find rest by knowing when to ask for help. How can you find rest today? Comment below.