“The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will be quiet in his love. He will delight in you with singing.” Zephanian 3:17 CSB
One of the greatest fears I have faced was the loss of Cody. As I’ve said before, he was like a son to me. When he was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 7, I had no idea the struggle it would be in his life. As I learned more about diabetes and its effects on the body, my prayers for Cody became more fervent. I have a friend now who is 41 and has battled diabetes since she was 16. As she says, she never gets a day off from thinking about it. Neither did Cody. I knew diabetes shortened life spans, I prayed fervently it wouldn’t shorten his. But it did, and I had to face the fear of losing him.
Here is the truth I now know. I didn’t lose Cody. He is with me in everything I do. In ways I feel closer to him now than I did before he died. I do miss him terribly. I miss his hugs, I miss his wit, I miss his smile. I miss the sarcastic way he would say “Aunt Beth” when he was irritated with me. I miss him. But I never lost him, you can’t lose someone who lives in your heart. My fear of losing Cody was a wasted fear. All of the time I spent worrying about it did nothing to prolong his life. As my therapist says, when it’s your time, it’s your time. As she said, you can be in the middle of a battle, bullets flying all around you and if it’s not your time, you won’t get hit. On the other hand, you could be sitting at your kitchen table eating dinner and a car could run into the house and kill you (which by the way, did happen in my neighborhood 6 years ago). When it’s your time, it’s your time and only God knows when that is. Job, a man who experienced a lot of death puts it this way, “A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set” (Job 14:5 NLV).
God was my Warrior as I faced my greatest fear. He was with me every step of the way. He knew the last time I would see Cody alive, He made sure the hug we shared that day would last until we meet again. He placed people in mine and my families lives that have carried us through those first few days, as well as the years since. I’ve felt His presence in ways I never would have if Cody hadn’t been called home. He is your Warrior too. Whatever you are facing, He’s facing it with you. You can say the same thing David said to Goliath: “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” (1 Samuel 17:45 NIV). You’re never alone in battle, as impossible as that may be to believe, God is always with you. He is your Warrior, He will fight your fears with You if you let Him. The choice is yours.