“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12 NIV
What happens when the miracle doesn’t happen? When the prayer you prayed isn’t answered? What happens then? You keep going. You hang on for dear life, and keep going.
Sept. 2, 2014 will always be one of the hardest days of my life. It was my mother’s birthday, who had passed away in February, and it is the day my Cody boy died. The closest to a son I will ever have. I was there on the day he was born, I was there the day he died. His Mom was gracious enough to share him with me in between, and for that I will always be grateful. I will never forget thinking, “How do we go on from here? How does life go on without Cody? How do I get up tomorrow morning?”
You know what got me up the next morning? His Mom and Dad, his sister, my husband, our family and friends. They got me out of bed the next morning. They were the ones who gave me the courage to get back up and keep going. Each of them were and still are God in the flesh to me. When one of us is down, someone has been there to pick us up, keep us going. And we still have down days. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t think of him. In ways, he is more alive than ever to me. I see his smile, right now as I write these words. I feel his hug, especially the last one I ever received. I’m so grateful God, in His infinite wisdom made it so memorable for me. I hear him telling me I’m being stupid. He loved to tell me that, always with a grin on his face. He lives in my heart, completely healed, completely happy, in the arms of Jesus.
Every morning when I take my coffee and meet Jesus at the foot of the cross, Cody is there too. I’m on earth’s side, he’s on heaven’s side, but we’re together.
I will never forget the first person who asked me, “What about all those prayers you prayed for Cody? Aren’t you mad God didn’t answer?” Cody was diabetic, I had prayed for years for his healing. But he wasn’t healed, the horrible disease took him. Or was he? His mother and I have had endless conversations about it. God did heal him, completely. It just wasn’t the way we wanted. He has a new body, completely healed in heaven. He never has to take another shot of insulin, he never has to prick his finger to check his blood, he never has to worry about going too high or too low again. And he’s there waiting for us when we get there. And he knows, we’re not quite ready to join him just yet.
What do you do when the miracle doesn’t happen? You keep on going, one step at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. And you look for God in the midst of the pain. One of the ways we as a family were first comforted was that he died on Mom’s birthday. They had a very special relationship, one no one could come between. She went ahead of him to be there for him when he got there. They partied in heaven without us that day, but they were together again. One day, we all will be.
Blessed are those who persevere for they will receive the crown of life.