“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8
God recently changed the direction of my life, very unexpectedly. Clearly an answer to a prayer, I’d been praying for months about the situation. His direction change wasn’t what I thought. Gut punch is the best description of the event.
I’ve lived life with God long enough, I know when He does things like this there is a definite purpose. I know He wants me in a new direction, even if I don’t know which way it is. It might hurt for awhile. My heart has some areas it needs to heal in, but I know through all of it He has a plan. It is a good plan. And I want to be where He wants me to be. Always.
Life with God is so much better than life any other way.
I am embracing it completely. I admit, I was shocked at first. It knocked me to my knees and took my breath away. I didn’t get right back up, in fact, I’m still in the process of getting back on my feet. One thing is for sure, I am loving this journey He has me on completely.
The emotions I’ve worked through over the past few weeks. The lessons He has taught me, it’s amazing. The conversations I’ve had I would never have had any way else. They have been so rich, so deep, so full of life. The messages I’ve heard as a result of this have been particularly interesting. I’m looking so closely for where God is leading me it’s been invigorating. I mean it is on the edge of your seat kind of stuff.
I can’t talk about where I think I’m heading. Not yet. There hasn’t been enough time. I’m not completely sure it’s what He wants. The first thing He has instructed me to do is slow down. I have learned slowing down doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.
Slowing down simply means taking the time to enjoy life. Smelling the roses. Reading the book. Taking the walk. All things we do for ourselves, but also for our relationship with God. When I do these things, I’m trusting not everything has to be done today. I’m learning I don’t have to be the one who does everything. I’m deepening my trust in Him as I wait for His leading. I’ve learned I’m actually doing others a disservice when I’m doing all the work. I’m not giving them the opportunity to learn and grow.
I’m having so much fun learning these lessons I can’t even put it into words.
I just started a new book this morning. Lisa Harper’s “Overxtended…and loving most of it!” The title of this book is exactly how I would describe how I feel most days. Overxtended…and loving most of it! I’m a chapter in and I have found a new life motto:
“You know, I think this is what we’re supposed to look like when we stand before Jesus. I don’t think we’re supposed to show up in glory with time to spare, a fresh manicure, and perfect hair. I think if we’re really living the gospel, we’re going to fall at His feet exhausted and messy, with mismatched socks, just plum worn out from loving people as hard as we can!”
Oh my gosh, I want to be that woman. I want to fall at Jesus feet with mismatched Crocs on my feet, hair going wild, no make-up and a few pounds over weight. Being perfect is not for me. I just heard about this “illness” in elderly women who are striving all of the time to be a size 0. The amount of stress you put on your body to do that as you age causes severe health issues. I do not, in anyway want to be that! Women naturally gain weight as they get older. Their bellies aren’t so flat anymore. Their hips widen. It’s the way God created us. Embrace it. I don’t want to be something God didn’t create me to be.
I do however want to be healthy. I love when I go to the Dr. for my yearly physical and she tells me my blood work is better than last year. I love being able to run all day long from one thing to the next. I love playing tennis and walking dogs. I am grateful for the good health the Lord has blessed me with, but I also need to take care of it.
Therefore I try to stay healthy. I do not try to be a size 0. Still takes work.
Lord, thank You for the epiphany. Can’t wait to see what You’re going to teach me next!
