Confessions of a Phubber

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“Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”  Romans 12:10
Have you ever heard of phubbing?  I hadn’t until last night.  Hubby and I are doing a fun study together called “Five Dates” by Mike and Jennifer Foster.  You literally go on five dates with your significant other.  It guides you through great conversations.  Each has a different topic and is designed to help deepen your relationship.
Last night’s topic was “presence”.  It started by talking about phubbing.  Phubbing is a combination of the words phone and snubbing. It describes the moment when someone pays more attention to their phone than to the person they are with at the time.  What an eye opener for me.  I am a total phubber, especially when it comes to my husband.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence we’re doing this study.  I also don’t think it’s a coincidence they started with phubbing.  I’ve been convicted of this for some time now.  I’ve come to realize, the more comfortable you are with someone, the more you are able to phub them without realizing it.
In complete honesty, the book asked us to rate ourselves on how much of a phubber we are on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst.  I rated myself an 8 and my husband did not disagree with my assessment.
Gratefully, I’m more aware of it than ever now.  I’ll be more conscious about it in all of my relationships.  That was the discussion hubby and I had last night.  It doesn’t just pertain to marriage, it can pertain to all types of relationships.
Did you know on average people check their phones over 150 times a day?  That’s about every 10 minutes or so.  Can you believe in such a short time we’ve developed such an addiction to a device that wasn’t even present 20 years ago?  It literally is ruining marriages!  For some reason, we think whatever is on the phone is more important than the person who is in front of us, including our husband and kids.
What are we missing by being so addicted to our phones?  What moments have passed us by and we didn’t even notice?  It makes my heart hurt to think of the lost moments with my husband.
The good news is today is a new day.  I can always change my priorities.  I can always work harder at my marriage.  I can always pay attention to the moments God gives me today.
Here’s the question, are you a phubber too?  Be honest, it won’t hurt, it can only help!

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